1shablog

Because he loves me, he still does things for me, and I cannot repay whatever he has done for me, not in this lifetime, even if I say yes to him.

Truth is love never goes away, we can’t stop loving someone at any point in our lives, we just refocus our feelings, we avoid them until it stops showing and when we revisit them we realize we had something there,

I am unconscious for a while, the coffee mug lying on the floor, with the spilled coffee. The floor is cold and I see blurry visions until I can’t see anything.

I doze off to sleep with my knees close to my heart. I sleep restlessly, uneasy, seeing Abhay in the dream again, he standing under the stairway of the bridge, rain pouring and his heartbroken face.

And he did things for me I never imagined someone would do for me, he was my world and he possibly did everything a woman always wanted, and in the act of loving him, I never knew when did I actually fell in love with him.

It has been months and these past months have been excruciatingly painful, with the heavy heart I finally am ready to confess..

नज़रें चौखट से उठी तो ऐसा लगा मानो तुम ही हो, आज भी हर जगह तुम्हें ही ढूँढ़ता रहता हूँ। सच में तुम हो, आज इतने जमाने बाद, तुम्हें अपने सामने पाकर ऐसा लगा की शायद आज बरसों बाद दिल की आरज़ू कबूल हुई हो। तुम मेरी तरफ बढ़ी और रुक गयी जैसे मुआयना कर रही हो।

“Happy Independence day Ishita!” I say all excited, coming to school with my best friend.

I yearn for your touch, your presence..

I wonder if I love you any more. Have I ever loved you, or did I fall out of love with you?